I wanna be eaten by mushrooms when I die

February 10, 2016

 

 

I told my little sister that I want the greenest fucking funeral in the world.  No embalmbing liquid, no creamation bullshit, I wanna be made into a tree and crap.  My sister responed, "So you just want me to kick you in a hole or something?"

 

Whoa!  Nobody said "kick" you psychopath!  I may need to find a new executor.

 

At first I thought just bury me near a tree and eventually my body will feed it, but then I remembered that trees don't eat people, so I was like "Fuck, what do I do now?"

 

Voila!  The Mushroom Death Suit!

 

http://www.takepart.com/article/2016/02/09/death-suit-makes-burials-eco-wallet-friendly?cmpid=tp-ptnr-huffpost&utm_source=huffpost&utm_medium=partner&utm_campaign=tp-traffic

 

Are you fucking kidding me?  I can have mushrooms eat my body so I become part of nature and organically reincorporate my atoms into the earth?!  I WISH I WAS DEAD NOW!

 

Long story short, let's all be eaten by mushrooms when we die.  It's so hot right now.

 

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